BIG picture + small picture = COMPLETE picture

Recently, I've been reading lots of marriage and relationship books to equip myself as I'll be entering another stage of relationship. Basically, I started off with a book written by Gary Chapman. Dr Chapman is no longer a stranger to readers when it comes to relationship books. Yea..I enjoy reading his book and currently I'm reading '5 love languages' which was given as a christmas gift by Pepper.

Since Friday till Sunday, I came across topics amongst women and men. In fact, the topic started off on Friday lunch when my colleagues and I met up with another newbie in the company for lunch. We spoke about men talk and women talk. Pls do not misunderstanding over here. Men talk and women talk refers to talks at the same frequency respectively. There were 3 gals and 1 man that always talks like Tengku Mahkota.

When a couple wants to work on a project together, man will look into the big picture whereas woman looks into the small picture (details). For example, a couple just bought a new place. Man decides what color to paint and what kind of lightings, kitchen and so on. What does woman do in this case? Woman will suggests those decorations to get in order to match with the wall color. Hence, when woman and man come together, they form a complete picture and get the house decorated.

HOwever, it's a fact that everyone (women and men) comes from different background, culture, etc. There are differences between each individual. We'll not agree with each other everytime. There will be time when couple does not see eye-t0-eye. Couple face problem of agreeing with each other or even get the partner to agree and draws a conclusion. Under this circumstance, what should we do? Both couple has to control their emotions, they have to be sensible, think maturely and practically. The most important thing is communication. One has to listen when the other talks and vice versa. Books that I've read recently mentioned about ways to solve conflicts. Personally, there's no right or wrong with all the suggestions how to solve conflicts to avoid arguments, it all depends on both parties and what's the most comfortable way of solving it.

Some people have the desire to win all the time, in hokkien, we called it 'kiasu'.

There's nothing wrong to be 'kiasu', but we need to know what's the justications. We can't be trying to be kiasu at all times. One chinese saying says 'A stupid person will be smart for a day, a smart person will be stupid for a day'. Hence, we must learn to have listening ears. More importantly, do not be selfish. Remember, we must always think of what's the best solution for both parties not for 'me' or 'myself' but for 'us'.

Back to the topic, there's nothing wrong for men to look into BIG picture and women look into small picture. Remember, do not blame each other 'why he/she never thought of this? why do i have to do this?' Whatever that we do in a relationship is for both persons. Learn from each other and communicate what you want the party to do for you. Do not put hope on men, but put hope on God.

Having said that I started to read all those books that serve as guide to enter into marriage, do not forget God is always the center of a relationship. It's easier to be said than doing it. Nevertheless, reading these books help me to prepare myself if i get into such situation one day, at least i have an idea how to cope with it.