Fit to be tied by Bill and Lynne Hybels

I want to recommend this book, FIT TO BE TIED, to all my friends who falls into one of the categories as follows:-

1. Going into a courtship
2. Seeking a relationship
3. Going into marriage
4. In the marriage

I think you can get it from Christian bookstores and I shall thank a friend who got us this book as a Christmas gift. Tengku Mahkota has been reading it but he stopped at page 28 and I'm covering half of the book now. The book is written by a pastor and his wife. They shared about their relationship and why sometimes they see things differently.

This book explains why sometimes couples think differently and later on leads to conflicts. But one of the reasons I realize all these things happen is due to expectations. We impose expectations on each other (your spouse, your family, friends and etc). We expect people may do this way and that way. Often, we expect people to react the same way as us.

When a woman looks for a husband, she basically has a list of requirements (unconsciously) developed based on how her father takes care of the family. Vice versa for a man, who looks for a wife who behaves like his mom. One thing to bear in mind, we have different family background. To me, this is the greatest creation of God. Look at the magnet, positive + positive->repel. Positive + negative -> they stick together! According to the bible, a wife is a helper to the husband and wife has to submit to the husband. But, husband should also compromise and takes care of the wife's feeling.

One interesting thing that the authors mentioned is don't assume you know your spouse well even though you're married for 20 years. This statement is partly true and partly false as well. I think I know my husband better than his friends because I spend lots time with him, i know him well thru our interactions. The authors said understanding a person that you have physical intimacy is tougher than understanding a friend. People change over the time but the fundamental personality of a person will not change much. I think when men change in their 40s, we may call it Mid life Crisis. When women change in their 50s, we call that menopause.

In short, it's a very interesting book that I will encourage my friends to read. I can't wait to find out more by reading it. *ops, I don't earn a single penny by introducing this book*

I thank god that He sent me a husband who's very caring, loving and more importantly, he fears God. I continue to keep him in my prayer everyday.